Genre: Drama, Angst
Rating: PG for this chapter
Pairings/Characters: AoixKai (onesided?), more to come
Summary: Kai's biggest fear, the loneliness, is eating him alive. Though everything could be so simple.
Comments: This one is shorter than the last chapter, but I hope you'll like it nonetheless. Thanks to das_porno_uke for beta-reading *chu* :3 It's from Kai's POV until it changes to Aoi's again.
*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*° = POV change
Bright light shines through my eyelids and I wonder where it is coming from. I had ended everything. Then what’s this light? After all I am dead, so shouldn’t it be dark then? Am I in heaven now?
Just now I notice something warm. A hand, which seems to hold my own. God? That can’t be possible. The feeling slowly returns into my body and now the pain is there, too. Now I’m sure that I am not dead, since then I would not feel any pain. But whose hand is it then?
My memories return, too. I had already done it. I had cut my wrist and watched how the blood left my body. I had accepted that it would end, but then somebody came. Not just anybody, but a very special person. He, whom I craved for the whole time, was there and helped me.
It was surely a pitiful scene, which I made then. I don’t even want to know what he thinks of me now. Probably nothing good.
While I start to space out, I nearly forget the warm hand, which still holds my own one tightly. But I slowly start thinking of it again and I finally want to know, to whom this hand belongs. I actually expected to be alone as soon as I would wake up. So this is really a surprise.
I slowly force myself to open my eyes. I manage to do it with a lot of effort, since my eyelids seem to be incredible heavy. But as soon as they are open, I immediately close them again, for I get blinded by the blazing light.
I have to be in a hospital. There is no other explanation that comes to my mind. The grip on my hand gets stronger for a short moment, before the heat source disappears. My eyes promptly fly open. It felt so good, it shall not disappear.
I look next to me and I start feeling queasy, because he is here and looks at me with a smile on his face. Suddenly a hand gets near to me and in the next moment it’s on my cheek and starts caressing it carefully. At this moment my eyes are opened wide and I stare at him in shock. This is the least that I expected to happen now. And it feels so amazingly good and right that I don’t want him to stop anymore.
"Finally you’re awake. I’ve been terribly concerned about you."
I swallow hard, when I hear his words. I realize that it must have been really hard for him and I start to feel guilty.
"A-aoi... I... It"
I can’t form a proper sentence, because I notice how tired I really am and my voice is quiet and shakily. Besides he places a finger on my lips and shakes his head.
"Hush, it’s alright. You don’t have to say anything now. You should better rest a little more."
I sigh silently and nod, before I close my eyes again. He starts to caress my cheek again and I enjoy it to the fullest. I really feel comfortable with him around and I didn’t expect it to happen someday.
That’s why I’m disappointed as soon as this wonderful warm hand disappears again. Though it’s not gone for a long time, for it’s back at my own hand and squeezes it again. I immediately return the pressure and I’m surprised that I’m still so exhausted. It seems like it really cost a lot of energy and maybe it’s better, if I take a rest now.
"Sleep a little bit more. That will do you good Kai."
I only nod slight, since I’m already half in the dreamland and it doesn’t take long until I’m fully asleep again.
A small smile appears on my lips, as I notice that he fell asleep again. That’s better for him now and he really needs it. I just hope that he’ll get better soon. I don’t want to see him like this much longer. I’d like it much more, if he would stand in front of me again with that beautiful smile of him.
His hand isn’t that cold any longer by now and I’m happy about it. I’m sure that he will make it. Now I just have to tell the others about it. I better call them now.
I take a look at his face and stroke over his hand again. If I could leave him alone until I’m ready? Surely. He won’t notice it at all, when he’s sleeping so deeply. So I can go outside and call the others without having to worry. I’ll be quick, so that I’m here again, as soon as something might happen.
I squeeze his hand one last time, before I stand up and leave him alone for now. I quickly go through the hallways to leave the hospital again. The cool air greets me as get outside and it’s welcome now. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and dial the first number that comes to my mind now. It doesn’t even take a long time, until someone answers my call.
"Aoi? What’s wrong?"
"You have to come to the hospital immediately!"
"Hospital?" He sounds worried. "Did something happen? Didn’t you want to go to Kai?"
"Yeah, I’ve been there. Please just get here quickly Reita! I’ll explain everything then."
He remains silent, probably considering his decision, but then I finally hear his answer.
"Alright Aoi. I’ll be there soon."
He ends the call and I sigh silently, after I put my cell phone back into my pocket. Now I just have to wait for Reita. So there is time to smoke.
I immediately take my cigarette packet out and fish one of the cigarettes out of the box, which I really need right now. I enjoy the smoke and only twenty minutes later Reita arrives at this hospital.
He runs over to me and I can clearly see his bewilderment. So I don’t want to let him wait for an answer much longer. Though it takes some minutes, until I told him the whole story with Kai. He seems worn out after these news.
"Wow... That’s bad. And I didn’t notice anything. This afternoon everything had still been so normal."
"Yes, I know what you mean. I just hope, we’ll be able to help him somehow. He shouldn’t end this way."
Reita nods approvingly and remains silent for a few seconds, before he runs a hand through his messy hair.
I can only nod slightly and then close my eyes for a short time. I only notice now, how tired I am. But after all this it’s not a big surprise. Reita seems to notice, too, how exhausted I am.
"You should better go home and take a rest. I can inform the other, too."
A small smile shortly appears on my features, while I shake my head.
"No Reita. I need to stay with Kai. He shouldn’t be alone, when he wakes up."
"Hmm... Okay. Then I’ll come with you first. But you shouldn’t stay much longer."
I sigh, but understand that Reita is right. So I nod and we both go to Kai’s room together.
He is still asleep and appeals so peaceful. Only the color of his skin disturbs the scene.
"He looks terrible."
It’s not more than a silent murmur and more directed to me than anybody else.
Reita stays with me for a little while and talks with me from time to time, until he leaves again. Kai didn’t wake up single time. He’ll probably sleep through the whole night.
One glance to the clock tells me that it’s already past midnight. Maybe I should better go home now, too. So I caress his cheek one last time, before I stand up and leave.