Chapter: 1/x Oneshot
Warnings: None specific
Rating: G/PG I'd say
Pairings/Characters: AoixKai (onesided)
Summary: Aoi watches Kai at the beach once again.
Comments: Finally I've come to finish something. I already thought, this would need eternities. Sorry for the lack of updates, but school is keeping me busy. Though this idea I got while reading a poem in school. We had to write to monologues of the speaker and the other person in the poem, so I changed it a little bit and had a new fanfic. xD Hope you like it and please keep in mind that English isn't my first language and that this wasn't beta-read.
Enjoy reading and comments are love! <3
You come here again like every day. Always at the same time. I can really set the clock according to you. But it is over and over again nice to see you, while you stand there near the water and enjoy the breeze of the sea. It seems as if you would like the sea a lot.
I would do everything, so you would look at me like that just for one more time. However nothing else than watching you again and again remains to be done for me. At least that cannot be taken away from me.
I really think, it is interesting, how you can have so much fun with drawing a little bit in the sand and then watching, how the waves reduce everything to nothing again. I start to wonder what goes on in your mind, while you do all this.
It is rather senseless, for there will be nothing left in the end. It’ll simply be washed away and you just cannot do anything against it. But nonetheless you start with it over and over again.
That reminds me of our past. We had spent so many good times together and vowed that we would never leave each other alone and would remain as best friends forever. But now? Now everything seems to be over. It is like the circles, you always draw and which simply become nothingness.
We had everything we needed. We had us. And then everything ended rapidly. From one day to the other. It all happened so fast and before I could do anything, you were gone forever. I had lost you. Though I never wanted that.
And even now I still wish that you would simply come back and would tell me that it was just a misunderstanding that we could go on again as before. I am yearning to the day, on which you will belong completely to me again and no longer to the sea.
Now you stand up and I think that my eyes must betray me. Did you actually noticed and smiled at me? Like at the time when you had given that beautiful smile of yours only to me and it always made me incredibly happy, if you laughed again. Then I had been the only person, who had such an effect on you. But things change very fast. And I realize that every time again.
No… I just deceived myself. You simply go away and I am all alone again. I will probably stay that way forever. I have lost your heart, for it is out there by the waves and unreachable for me. It got washed away like the drawings in the sand.
That saddens me so much. I would love to be the person again, to whom your heart belongs. I would do everything to change something at it, but nonetheless I will probably never succeed.
Nothing but watching you here at the beach remains to be done for me. At least I can be near you this way.
Finally back at the beach. I already missed the wind in my hair, though the last time, I had been here, was just yesterday. It is over and over again a wonderful sensation, if I watch the waves, while they always come nearer, before they disappear in the ocean again. Maybe it is always the same process, day in day out, but it is nice to watch this regularity.
And I am doing the identical same thing, too, on every day I am here. I draw any kinds of words or shapes into the sand before they disappear again. However it is all the same to me. Even if my drawings vanish over and over again, I will still keep it up. Maybe it will remain one day. Although that actually is quite impossible, I still fancy that.
What an idiotic idea! As if the waves would stop to come to the land one day. They will always come back, no matter what happens. As well as my drawings will always vanish. I can do, whatever I want, but my drawings are like everything else in my live. Transient.
I sometimes wish, that I would have the power to end all this. Maybe I will be able to do it some time in the future. Though then it will be way too late for it. Basically it is already too late by now. But nevertheless I still hope to get a second chance. That would really make me happy. And until then I will simply continue as before.
I have to laugh over my own thoughts. It is always the same with me. First I am doing everything wrong and then I even hope that one will forgive me. For some time it actually worked, but then it simply stopped. I am indeed not good if it is about relationships or suchlike. There I can do whatever I want.
I turn around and my smile gets immediately bigger as I see you at this place. It seems like you have been watching me again. You get here everyday, too, just like me.
Are you doing that because you like the sea or because of me? I would love to get an answer, but I just don’t dare to speak to you again. I am too scared that we would quarrel again and that I would just destroy even more. That could happen easily with my luck. So I simply leave it alone.
I believe that you are indeed here because of the sea, for you don’t seem to notice that I give you my smile. Though you look into my direction, there is no reaction from you. That is probably too much I ask for. After all that had happened between us, it is understandable. I really had been a big idiot.
It is better, if everything remains as before. Then it cannot get any worse. And that is the last thing, which I want right now. So I give the sea my attention for one last time, before I turn around and walk away.
Even if it hurts to just leave you here without a word. It is still better this way. You are for sure thinking the same way.