Picture prompt: 1, 2 written for hanashi_no_egao
Warnings: Character death
Summary: There had been a time, when he enjoyed autumn and loved to walk through parks. He had been full of joy, whenever he saw those beautiful fallen leaves on the ground, or whenever he got one of those bouquets like that one on the grave.
Comments: A little birthday fic for Kai :D The part in italics is a flashback. Enjoy~!
The brunette man looked down onto the grave next to him. A bouquet of blue asters lay in front of the cold and grey stone. One look at him was enough to see that he was grieving. His watery eyes were glued to the stone and everything around him seemed colorless. He didn’t care that autumn was prominent all around him. The graveyard was full with leaves in all kinds of warm colors. But he didn’t care.
Not any longer.
There had been a time, when he enjoyed autumn and loved to walk through parks. He had been full of joy, whenever he saw those beautiful fallen leaves on the ground, or whenever he got one of those bouquets like that one on the grave. They had been presents from his boyfriend, that he had gotten every month and that he had loved. The smell of those roses had always made him smile. Now he couldn’t stand it any longer. Everything reminded him of his boyfriend.
But still he couldn’t stop buying them and bringing the bouquets to the graveyard every month. It was a silent promise he had made. And he wouldn’t dare to break it.
The brunette sighed heavily and closed his burning eyes to fight back those tears that threatened to fall, before he started mumbling more to himself than to anybody else.
"Even now I’m still not really able to believe it... but like I promised you last time, I brought your flowers with me. It’s the last bouquet they had in the shop, so I’ve been lucky. But I’d probably run through whole Japan to get you one. After all today is a special day. You always told me that, when you gave me those flowers. I didn’t really believe you, but now I guess I understand. Though I wish all that wouldn’t have happened."
He could still remember it, as if it would have just happened minutes ago. It had been the day before his birthday. They wanted to make a date in a little café in the middle of the town on that day. The brunette already sat at one of the tables outside, since the weather was beautiful and it wasn’t cold, although they already had autumn. A cup of coffee was set on his table, while his eyes were scanning the streets for any sign of his boyfriend.
When he finally spotted the raven haired man on the other side of the street between all those people, he couldn’t keep the grin from his lips. As his boyfriend got nearer he also saw the bouquet of flowers, which he was always looking forward to by now.
So to catch the other man’s attention the brunette started waving his hands, which he of course had to simply notice. The older one flashed him a bright smile, while he had been waving back and starting to run towards the street. He wanted to be with his lover as soon as possible. So the raven haired pushed through the peoples that were all around him, until he could finally step onto the street. After a quick look to both sides and noticing, that the cars all stopped because of the red lights, he walked over the street to finally hug his boyfriend, who had got up from his chair by now.
But he didn’t seem to notice the look of horror in the brunette’s face, when he reached the middle of the broad street. He didn’t notice the car coming with full speed closer and closer, which just ignored the traffic lights around him and drove way too quickly.
The brunette screamed his lover’s name, but it was too late. The car was already too close and the only thing, he could do, was watch. Watch as his boyfriend got hit by that car ...
And everything turned blank.
He closed his eyes, blocking out these memories that tried to overwhelm him and made the tears sting behind his eyelashes. Whenever he thought about that day, it hurt so much as if he would go through all of it again. As if he would be back at that day two years ago and called the ambulance, while he begged the raven haired man not to die.
"But you did it the next day..."
The brunette bit hard onto his lips, to stop the sob escaping him, while he could no longer hold the tears back that were freely running down his cheeks.
After the ambulance had arrived, his lover was brought straight to the hospital and he was allowed to drive along with them. And the raven haired man came into the emergency operating room right away and there he had stayed for many long hours. The brunette remembered that it felt like an eternity, until one of the doctors told him, that his boyfriend was still alive but in coma, so that he couldn’t talk to him, nor actually see him at that moment, for he was brought to the intensive care unit. But the still slightly crying man refused to leave the hospital.
So he had stayed. Until the next day, his birthday, where they had planned to make a huge party with their friends and afterwards watch some nice movie. That party never took place. Fate had destroyed their plans. His boyfriend had died around noon due to the injuries from the accident. The doctors couldn’t bring him back. They couldn’t help any longer.
"We wanted to go to the movies you idiot..."
He bit down harder as more and more tears fell from his eyes, blurring his visions.
"But I still love you, no matter what you did. No matter how much it hurts."
The brunette shook his head and tried to wipe the tears away, which wasn’t really helping, since they were replaced by new ones immediately. When he could finally see more than a blurry mass of colors again, he looked down onto the grave and at the words on the stone, which he already saw so often and always wished not to be true.
✝28. 10. 2006
Every time he looked at the name and the date, something deep inside him broke a little bit more. And he knew that he could probably never handle it. He had loved him too much to just get over it now and maybe even forget him. He had sworn to never do it.
Back when the funeral took place and when he had stood right in front of the fresh grave. He had sworn to never forget and never stop loving him. And he would make sure to not break that promise between them.
That was one of the reasons, why he always got those flowers and brought them to the grave. He wanted to be remembered of his boyfriend. And he wanted to give him something back, since his boyfriend had given him so much in that time they had been together. And although the raven haired had left so early, he was truly thankful for their time. He knew he would never experience something similar again, so he treasured all the memories, all the happy and also sad times they had shared. He would never ever give away what was left.
As the wind started blowing a little harder, the brunette looked around for the first time, while he pulled his jacket a little closer. The wind was cold and rough this year and he didn’t really like it. The brunette enjoyed the warmth a lot more, especially since that didn’t remember him of why he was going to this place over and over again.
He blinked as a big leaf flew down right in front of him and landed on the bouquet of flowers. His eyes seemed to be stitched to it for a few seconds, until he kneeled down to pick the leave up. It was shimmering in red and orange colors and somehow fascinated him, as he twirled it around in between his fingers.
A heavy sigh floated through the air around him, as he closed his eyes before he looked down onto the grave again.
"I’ll be back soon. Next time I’ll bring you some red flowers. Yes, I think that’s a good idea."
The brunette nodded and for a mere second a faint smile flashed across his features. He turned around to leave the grave for that day, taking the leaf with him as he hurried to get away from that place. Leaving the lonely bouquet of blue asters next to the grey stone behind.
A/N: Sorry for this... But I'm not able to write something happy. >.< Well anyway... Happy Birthday Kai :3